State of the Planet

I read the State of the Planet by Robert Hass.  I will be taking parts of the poem and interpreting them on what I believe them to mean.

The first section I will be interpreting is:

"The book will say that the climate is complicated, that we may be doing this, and if we are, it may explain that this was something we've done quite accidentally, which she can understand, not having meant that morning to have spilled the milk.  She's one of those who's only hungry metaphorically."

In the beginning of this poem it speaks of a girl with a red book bag with this textbook, "Getting to know your planet" in it.  The author then speaks of how cars like his have trapped emissions and are contributing to the greenhouse effect.  I chose this part because at first it is very hard to understand why spilled milk would be compared to greenhouse affect and the meaning of the last sentence is unclear.  I would take this quote to mean at first that it is silly to call the green house effect an accident.  It compares it to spilled milk to show sarcasm; and to make a hyperbole of spilled milk being such a big accident compared to greenhouse effect.  But if we look at the last sentence it says she is only hungry metaphorically implying that she may have spilled the milk on purpose.  If she is only hungry metaphorically, that would explain that she didn't want the milk and therefore spilled it.  With this information we can assume that the green house effect was not an accident and that people just didn't take care of the planet or didn't want to bother helping because too much work.  This interpretation is important for us to understand the rest of the poem.  If we read this part and think that the author is saying it is only an accident we will read on taking the poem lightly as it talks about all the destruction we have had on our ozone layer.  If we take the poem lightly it will lose the whole meaning of the poem, which is to make it known that our nature is being hurt by certain things people do and they need to be aware and help the greenhouse effect become extinct. 

The second part I interpreted from State of the Planet is:

"We'd have fashioned sexy little earrings from the feathers, highlighted our cheekbones by rubbings from the rock, and made a spear from the sinewey wood of the tree."

In the beginning of this section 4 in the poem it talks about how the child will learn about how the earth came to be from the textbook.  In the couple of sentences leading up to this quote it is talking about how it must be evolution that has created humans to not hold wonder and how if humans had the choice they would never have gotten up.  I have chosen this text because I feel that many would not get why the author chose to say this and what he is saying about people on the earth.  Also to relate this part of the poem to the first section I wrote on.  I feel this section of the poems meaning was about how humans have grown lazy and materialistic on their own.  In the first couple of sentences before this part it says, "It must be a gift of evolution that humans cannot sustain wonder."  With this part and the quote I used it is saying sarcastically that humans cannot sustain wonder and that it is not evolution, it is us who have turned towards using the earths materials and not taking care of it.  We have become obsessed with looks and material possessions because we can't maintain wonder of nature and be in awe of it.  We must use it to make ourselves better.  This interpretation matters because it shows that people have lost the ability to be in awe of our nature and therefore take care if it.  We have turned into a society that uses the earths materials and don't even give back to it by taking care of it.  It relates to my first interpretation because it says how people don't take care of the earth and that it is know accident they just don't care and this interpretation talks on humans selfishness of the beauty of the earth.  This part of the poem expands on the idea of how people have no excuse not to give back to and treat the earth with respect.  If people would learn from this poem to spend more time in nature and think on how we hurt it that we can prove that evolution didn't create us to be careless and not be in awe. 
Another interpretation that I heard others in class talk about, was how this may mean that humans are not capable of maintaining wonder and evolution granted this to us so that we would have the rise of man.  The rise of man comes from the quote in the poem, "We'd never have gotten up from our knees if we could."  But since we did rise from our knees this created man, and how we hurt the world by contributing to the green house effect.  This too could mean that when Hass says how we would soon, though while on our knees, would fashion earrings and use things to make us beautiful.  This showing how man still would not treat the earth right.

Pass!

Omelas

I really found this story kind of depressing.  I am guessing there is a lot of figurative language because I am not getting it. I sounds like the author is coming up with the story as he goes because he keeps saying "if you would like" or "it will not do" when explaining soldiers he did not want in the story. Its like he is writing the story from the perspective of someone explaining a story they want to write.  Another hard part of this story is the separating I don't know if you noticed, but there were huge paragraphs and the sentences sort of just flowed together.

I would hope that if I lived in Omelas I would be one of the people to leave and go to the mountains because I don't think I could live somewhere where they leave someone locked up only because it is what causes them joy because it reminds them that they are not free and how they treat their children better. 

But now talking to Josh apparently I have it all wrong and that we all create a Utopian society and inside that utopia someone is always left out.  So I don't really know.  Sorry I don't get this story.  But what Josh is explaining and you will probably see in his blog that it is a hyperbole about how some people won't lower themselves in order to help someone else.  Like some Christians may donate money or give food to the homeless, but they will not actually go to them and help them and try to get them shelter and food.  So I guess the people that escape are those people that just run away from it because they still didn't even try to help the boy they escaped in the night and just left to somewhere.  Maybe it was to help others or maybe it is when people step out of that Utopia and go help others in need.  Either way I guess I see both groups not doing so well, but I guess the ones that leave are better then the ones that stay and find joy in the suffering of the boy. 

Philippians

I am not sure if I am getting the figurative language right, but bear with me.

The first one I found was 

For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.  But if I am to
live on in the flesh, this will mean fruitful labor for me; and I do
not know which to choose.

If a person read this and didn't understand the first statement they would not recognize that he meant that while He is on earth living a person should be living like Christ or trying to be like Him.  And when he dies he gains eternal life in heaven, so to him that is gaining because he is ging to be with God.

The second part of this section of Philippians means that if he is to stay in the flesh (stay alive on earth) then he will work to bring people to know God and teach them what Jesus did. But if he chooses to die he gains eternal life with God.  So he doesn't know which to choose.


 Beware of the dogs, beware of the evil workers, beware of
the false circumcision;  for we are the true circumcision, who
worship in the Spirit of God and glory in Christ Jesus and put no
confidence in the flesh,  although I myself might have
confidence even in the flesh

Beware of false circumcision is going back to where the Jews were circumcised because it was apart of their law.   To be a Christian you don't need to be circumcised because Jesus died on the cross, so to be a Christian you do not have to be circumcised. 



If no one knew what these metaphors meant then it would be very confusing to read this and understand what he means.  But if you think through them the imagery was the perfect way of showing what it would mean to live on earth and how it would be a gain to go to heaven

Make up for AFI

 So this is Sheila when she goes to see Norman and brings him the flowers.  This is when Norman sets the timer for 9 minutes thinking that it was set for 9 pm. Later on he sits on these flowers.

 This is Arnold standing on the chair in the library.  He was practicing his speech to the Senate.

This is Norman as usual eating the donuts from his job.


I am not very good at drawing people.  Sorry.

A Temple of The Holy Ghost

Reading:

• There are two sisters who were sent to a all girls catholic school because really into boys and not school
• when girls describe that they call each other Temple 1 and 2 came from a woman telling them to tell boys they are the temple of Holy Ghost.  The mom says they are and second cousin seems to be content and happy with that
• second cousin daydreams of being the leader of the boys and denying them in war.  She makes them out to be tall and gorgeous, but they turn out to be short and not attractive.
• second cousin very stubborn and sarcastic, defends cousins when they sing a song and boys don't appreciate it 
• sisters go to fair with boys while second cousin imagines being a martyr over and over again
• when child does something bad or gets distracted from praying she thinks on Jesus journey to Calvary
• girls talked about one of the freak that was both man and woman and told no one to laugh because thats how God made it, child confused
• child daydreams that it said that the temple is a holy thing and God would strike anyone down who desecrated the temple
• they took girls back to convent and their the girl prayed not to be so mean and sass people
• priest holds up monstrance ( a symbol of communion) and the center or the host which is sacramental bread in communion is ivory like the sun that she described on her way to convent
• thought about the freak and how he talked about God wanting Him to be that way
•   while going home the cab driver says how the preachers had the fair shut down and the child then describes the sun as a Host covered in blood over the sky

Interpreting:

There are several times where the girl describes symbols of Jesus dying

1. When she has done something bad she thinks about Him dying on cross, so this shows how He forgives and through this ultimate sacrifice He does so
2. She talks about the sun being ivory and this turns out to be the same for the Host and then the girl talks about how the freak said thats how God made him and his body is a temple of the Holy Ghost.  Then when she hears the preacher had the freak show shut down the sun is now red like sacramental bread covered with blood representing that there is nothing wrong with this man that Jesus loves him and died for him as well.  This could also represent how He will forgive those preachers to.
3. While praying in the church the girl asks for God to help her not to be so mean and sass people and then she starts to go off again, but the priest holds up monstrance and she sees the ivory and is reminded of Jesus and Him being perfect and all loving
4. She gets very defensive when the boys make fun of the song the girls sings which in english translates to:

Down in adoration falling,
Lo! the sacred Host we hail,
Lo! o'er ancient forms departing
Newer rites of grace prevail;
Faith for all defects supplying,
Where the feeble senses fail.

To the everlasting Father,
And the Son Who reigns on high
With the Holy Ghost proceeding
Forth from Each eternally,
Be salvation, honor, blessing,
Might and endless majesty.
Amen.
V. Thou hast given them bread from heaven.
R. Having within it all Sweetness.
V. Let us pray: O God, who in this wonderful Sacrament left us a memorial of Thy Passion: grant, we implore Thee, that we may so venerate the sacred mysteries of Thy Body and Blood, as always to be conscious of the fruit of Thy Redemption. Thou who livest and reignest forever and ever.
R. Amen.

This hymn talks about worshiping God for all He has done


This story represents this girl who always is told and knows she is not perfect, but she is reminded always that she is the Temple of the Holy Ghost God and she will always be forgiven and no one should ever make fun of who she is or how she is because that is God's temple.

Criticizing:  We should always be reminded, as well, that we can be forgiven and not always worry and be scared that we have done something wrong.  God has grace and loves us always, we just have to remember and one way is through the cross.  And when we remember the love that is always there and can take hold of it.

The Man Who Came to Dinner

On Friday night I went and saw the play the man who came to dinner.  So I didn't really enjoy the play too much this weekend, but I think it was because I was hoping to see The Boys Next Door.  It was really slow in the beginning I thought, but at the end it started to pick up.  So because I didn't really enjoy the play I don't want to just talk about it the play, so I decided to look up the background on this play.

It was written by George Kaufman and Moss Hart.  They wrote their play based off of their friend Alexander Wollcott.  He is supposed to be Sheridan Whiteside.  Alexander was a theater critic and a radio star which makes sense because Sheridan was all those.  Kaufman and Hart couldn't think of a plot for a play until one day Wollcott showed up at Hart's house and took over the whole house.  He treated the staff poorly and slept in the master bedroom.  And of course as you can tell this is where they first found their plot.  Hart while laughing with Kaufman about Wollcott's stay said that he was glad he didn't break his leg and have to stay and that is where the play was created. 

I don't know why the setting was in Ohio considering both the home where Woolcott visited was in Pennsylvania and George Kaufman is from Pennsylvania.  I don't mind though because I am from Ohio and I love it!  Anyways more about Woolcott and Sheridan they made Sheridans character look exactly like Woolcott.  Woolcott was born in an 85 bedroom home in New York City.  His family was poor and his father drifted from job to job while he stayed with his grandparents at the house.  He made his way through college with the nickname of putrid and became a drama critic.  At one point he was even banned from seeing broadway shows.

The Spirit of God Hovered

I can't remember who, but I know it was when I was younger that I heard someone say that they wondered what those people did to conceive a mentally handicapped kid.  They made it sound like the parents committed an awful sin that they were summoned to life with this burden of a child they would have to take care of.  I never really understood why people had children with handicaps and why God would do that to people.   I never believed that the people had committed a sin, but growing up in the church I heard that often.

"If God's image implies personhood, then humanity,
indeed, the Church, seems to have interpreted human creation only in
terms of those considered the able bodied."

I agree with this you don't see many churches at all the have any type of ministry for the mentally handicapped.  The Church should be the ones helping and caring for people and they don't even considered the handicapped people. There are many homeless ministries and nursing home ministries, but really nothing out there for the mentally handicapped.  I don't know if it is because they believe there demonized or think they were created because sin, but the Church should help and make more programs for people that are mentally handicapped.

"If our pneumatology can
begin with conception and birth, then those who are not high on the
hierarchy of giftedness or significance in the way normally
understood can be appreciated for the way God has created them and
given them their unique 'life force.'"

I like that this proves how these people are not mistakes.  God doesn't make mistakes.  Mentally handicapped people are also made in God's eyes, just because they can't do everything others can doesn't mean God messed up.  Nobody is perfect, but that doesn't mean God forgot or didn't put His Spirit in us.  If people would just realize that everyone is made in God's image then maybe there would be more programs for the mentally handicapped through the church and people wouldn't have to worry so much about the funds coming into government sponsored programs.

Barry and Father

This Act was so sad.  I cried a lot.  It made me so sad when Barry's dad came.  I sort of felt bad for both of them.  I felt bad for Barry because he never sees his dad and was worried about impressing him and when he got there Barry went completely silent and didn't know what to say.  Then Barry's dad moved the sign and didn't really make it sound like it was a great job.  Then when his dad hit him Barry got so scared and then his dad quickly started to leave and right when he was leaving Barry said that he was a golf pro and it broke my heart.  His dad got so nervous and all Barry wanted was to make him happy and proud like he was so proud of his dad and all the big things he had done in his life.  I felt bad for Barry's dad because you could tell that Barry's mom was the one that took great care for Barry.  His dad even recognizes it a bit when he said his mother oved him so much and he meant so much to her.  But it was sad because he didnt say anything about how Barry was the treasure in his life.  I understand that must be scary to not know how to deal with your son being different and nervous to do anything different to him.  Thats why he sent him away I feel because his mom died and his dad didn't know what to do.  Also his dad does try to constantly send him a gift of the same thing and he does feel bad not bringing it 

I know the dad should have put more time and effort into Barry and if he had maybe Barry wouldn't be so alone, but it also must be so scary to have a child like that.  But there is no excuse to just not care for Barry

The Boys Next Door

So I haven't fully read the Act yet, but I have read about 7 pages.  So I am going to write on the characters and what i think of them so far and what I assume they are alike to see maybe if I am correct when finishing the full act.

Jack:  At first I had no idea Jack was not mentally handicapped.  When I read this I went back and read over his lines and I realized he didn't really show a sign of it, but it shows that he is really good with them and how to talk with them.  From his side monologue it sounds like he is getting worn down and I wonder if he will be able to stay with them any longer.  I am wondering if he will be the main character, I believe they all will, but if it will be centered more around him.

Arnold:  I love Arnold and it made me so angry when the shopkeeper told him that he would need that many Wheaties for one person.  He really reminds me of a fellow student in elementary school that I helped.  He says he is deeply nervous so he sort of sounds a little paranoid especially that he ahd to get 19 things at the store since they didn't have enough Wheaties.

Norman:  I haven't read a lot on Norman yet, but I like him.  How they open the door and he doesn't remember a box of doughnuts under his shirt.  I love his big key ring too, it sounds like he is very happy about this job and likes to show it off and seem like he works really really hard.  Hence him going to bed in the early afternoon.

Lucien:  Lucien seems more like a younger kid.  The others seem like they try and are more intellectual.  Lucien has his library card and gets all these yearbooks, which makes me think he can't read, but really wants to seem like he does.

Barry:  I haven't read barely anything on him, but he has this golf list and has people sign up on it because he says he is a golf pro.  I don't know why he is saying this, maybe he wants to have a skill and have people come to him for help or pay him for lessons.  I truly don't know a lot about Barry, so I am excited to see.

The beauty of nature

I went to Lake Bonny Park [or Circle B Bar Reserve] for this field trip, and I stayed there for at least 45 minutes.

The trees stand tall
looking down at me
Skinny and empty till the very top
filled with leaves
Our Father looking down at me
Filled with mercy and grace
while I on earth a sinner

Pine needles are gathered
and litter the sides of the pathway
grouped in some spots and
seperated in the others
God makes our path
and we break it apart
and walk our own way

Caterpillars building nets
to protect itself
while changing and becoming
a beautiful butterfly
The Lord weens us on
His spiritual milk and protects us
until we are ready to pull off and trust Him

When I went to Lake Bonny Park I went with Josh Morway.  I reread Hass's poem and it really didn't make a difference to me reading that poem putside.  The poem was more about places and things I couldn't see at Lake Bonny Park.  The pathway at Lake Bonny Park was very weird.  One side was beautiful trees and the other side was run down apartments.  At the end I sort of wished I went to the nature preserve where it would have been more surrounded by nature.  But it was cool because on the one side it was beautiful and you could see God's creation and on the other side to me it reminded me of Hass's poem that today we are dirty and mean to our environment and what God has given us.  I am not saying that because there was no like dump or anything it just wasn't the prettiest sight compared to the nature.  While walking on the path I was reminded of all the things that can symbolize God's love for us.  That is where the inspiration for my poem mostly came from.  I read all the directions from Professor Corrigans list of things to do, but I forgot to go in the evening or morning when it's cooler, so the sun was pretty hot on us, but other than that I enjoyed the park a lot! Also with the park it was right by the road so it was really hard to hear and I really love the sounds of nature and the silence.  So when we were asked to sit in silence and stillness it was really hard to tune out the noise around.  It could have also been thoguh that I was really distracted with the whole day in my head.  But it helped to clear my mind and concentrate on something other than what happened in the day and the night before.

wonder in nature

Nature.  I don't really like to be in it, but I do love the beauty of nature.  I liked how Professor Corrigan talked about how we have lost the wonder in nature.  I believe we have lost our wonder in a lot of other things too.  Our campus is beautiful and I sometimes think people take that for granted.  I feel like every time I walk around campus I am thinking about how much I will miss how beautiful it is here.  And I catch myself sometimes rushing and just walking and never looking around me.  I feel like people are always in a rush and just use technology all the time and forget to recognize the beauty of other things.  Like on the computer screen Professor Corrigan had that picture of all that green and a waterfall.  Its still on a computer screen and we can be in awe of it, but we can still never fully experience the wonder unless were out there and being in the nature.  In the poem State of the Plant, I feel as if the Richard Hass does want us to recognize the wonder in the world.  By describing all the things that are changing and things going wrong he wants us to appreciate nature and grow a new wonder for it.  By doing so maybe we will learn to be in awe of it again and see God through it. 

Also I knew one of my good friends in highschool and her family were exactly those kind of people Professor Corrigan described.  They said that the coming of the Lord would get rid of the earth anyways so why recycle and clean up the earth.  I asked her once about future generations like her children and she said that God would have favor on them.  I just thought it was so stupid because even if you think that God will have favor on your family aren't we supposed to love others and care for them.

STATE OF THE PLANET

So I really don't enjoy poetry especially 4 pages about global warming.  I did enjoy the somewhat snide remarks towards ignorant people who are ruining the earth.  But anyways here are examples of how I figured out it was on global warming:

1. In section 2 on page 50 it mentions the Pacific Salmon nosing against dams and then it says clever humans are now growing corn. This means that we are using that water and blocking it off to use for other purposes.  Waters absorbs carbon dioxide and by not  allowing it to stay and making it used we are getting rid of more that can be absorbing the carbon dioxide instead of causing more greenhouse effects.

2.  In section 1 on page 49 it mentions that the troposphere has retained emissions from cars like his.  This is greenhouse effect and the burning of fossil fuels (cars) adds to the raising the average global temperature.

3. In section 4 on page 51 it says "there's no life at all."  He was talking about the volcanic rock by the sea and in the desert.  Things that have no life cannot absorb carbon dioxide.  Also volcanoes when erupted add carbon dioxide into the air.

4. In section 5 on page 52 it talks about the Devonian coral.  During the Devonian era there were the most fish species and coral now because of global warming they are extinct and you can only find fossils now.

5. In section 9 on page 55 it talks about long-billed arctic curlews being burned in marsh fires.  People sometime burned marshes in order to get rid of disease.  By getting rid of marshes where these birds find their food and live it is getting rid of living things.  Living things also absorb or get rid of some of the carbon dioxide.

Poetry and Lectio

I truly do believe that you can learn from literature.  You can learn how to maybe see feelings and how to react to them from literature or maybe learn a new lesson about life.  It is hard for me to think about literature actually transforming your life.  Maybe if you read it in the way that you do want to transform, so you look for they ways you can learn and transform from it.  I think this too though is partly my fault.  I don't read this way, so maybe that os why I can't understand it.  I know we are supposed to learn how to live literature and learn that it is you, but I don't know if I can necessarily do that.  Especially with poetry.  Poetry is hard enough for me to get through when I actually find out the meaning of a poem I am so happy I found it and I am so sick of reading it I don't even think about applying it somehow to my life.

I still don't know what I thought about Lectio with Sonny Blues on Tuesday.  I really think of it as a religious practice with the Bible.  I don't think it is bad for people to do especially if you want to go very deep into your reading, but for me I feel that I will stick to just doing it with my Bible.  I really did see the difference on how I understood Sonny Blues afterward. After reading it so many times I was able to understand it more and being able to hear everyone's thoughts on it.  I will try it again in my life if I have the opportunity too because maybe I just put negative thoughts in my head and thats why I didn't fully embrace the activity. 

Sonny Blues

Sonny's Blues.  I understood it until the end.  I sort of could catch on to the ending, but not really.  I understand Baldwin was trying to make music with his words, but it was hard for me to catch on what those words meant.  All of a sudden he went from Sonny not being fully into yet and still facing the past to it brought the main characters memories back.  

"I heard what he had gone through and would continue to go through until he came to rest in earth."

Through Sonnys music he was able to hear about what he went through.  I found it interesting because when they were talking you couldn't really tell what he had gone though.  But in his music, Sonny was able to express it to his brother. 

"He had made it his: that long line, of which we knew only Mama and Daddy."

The wording of this statement sort of confused me.  He had talked about the music explaining what Sonny had gone through, but now it is of the times which their parents were living.  It reminded him of the story of his father and his fathers brother dying.  It brought up sadness and the past and brought him past it.  It goes onto to say that he remembered his daughter dying and his wifes tears and how he was beginning to tear.  It makes me believe the music brought up these feelings because when he wrote Sonny saying his little girl died I had to read that sentence over again.  In the story it says it so nonchalantly like no big deal his daughter died and go straight back to Sonny.  Maybe it was purposeful, so that the readers would think no big deal and skip over it like the character actually does in his life.  Then during the music it brings the past up and all of these things he made no big deal a big deal and now he can reflect on it.  The world stops and "waited outside", so that is what the music is doing stopping the chaos and allowing everything to settle. 

pass

Fin

Here it was.  The first day.  The freshmen and their parents stood outside waiting anxiously to check in to the dorm.  The entire Resident Assistant team went to their tables excited to meet the girls that they would be living with on their hall.  When I got to my table my community leaders were ready and we had everything organized.  The doors open.  The girls all scramble in and quickly go to their designated table. 

There she was.  She had dark curly brown hair and bright blue eyes.  She walked gracefully towards the table in her new Northwestern College t-shirt and her khaki bermuda shorts.  I asked her for her name and she said Taylor Adkins and you could hear her thick Alabama accent come out.  I pulled her file out and started walking her to her room where she would spend her very first year in college.  As we walked down the hall I asked her all the usual questions, “Are you excited for your first year”, or “Where are you from?”  She answered excitedly and then I noticed her shoes.  They were white converse with names written on them in colored markers and they had holes all over them.  I asked her about them and she explained how she had all her friends at church camp sign them 4 years ago and now she still wears them to remember to pray for her friends.

She had won me over.  From that very first day we became very good friends.  Every Saturday morning we would go eat breakfast and do devotions.  She was always very interested in my position as an RA and always asked questions about the rules and what I did.  I told her about all the rules at the school and explained that we held high standards like no drinking and smoking. She would often play Devil’s Advocate and try to say why some rules were stupid, but in the end we would both come to the agreement that they were still to be upheld. 

One Saturday morning we were eating breakfast and she told me she had very exciting news.  She told me that she had met a boy and not just any boy, the worship leader of one of the popular worship teams on our campus.  His name was Randy and he was from Detroit, Michigan.  I was excited for her and happy to hear it was a boy that I had only heard good things of.  I was at first excited for her, but after everyday of hearing about all the awesome stuff her and Randy did together, I was getting a little annoyed. I was very confused about how if she wanted me to know so much about him why had not we met yet.  That’s the part that worried me the most.   Then one day Taylor comes running into my room screaming and happily told me that after several weeks of just “hanging out” Randy had finally asked her out.  So that whole night I had to hear about what she was going to wear to their wedding and what flowers she wanted and what type of ring she wanted Randy to get her.

Finally after weeks of bragging about her and Randy I told Taylor that maybe if she wanted to show him off some more that she could actually introduce us.

So later on that day when Randy came to pick Taylor up for a date she introduced me to him.  He was very nice and polite, but very short with his answers to questions.  I didn’t take it personally though and told them to have fun.

It was the next Saturday morning and I was sitting alone eating breakfast and two hours later I received a text.  It was Taylor telling me that she was sorry and that Randy picked her up at 5 am and they went and watched the sunrise.  I would have been more upset, but she was so happy.  The following week all she talked about was how amazing Randy was and how talented Randy was and how handsome Randy was.  I just smiled and tried not to let it bug me.  It was her very first boyfriend after all.

Three weeks later and I have seen Taylor a total of three times.  She has been MIA.  She signs out a lot saying she went to a girl on the halls house.  When I text her she will answer she’s with Randy or doing homework or sleeping.  So I became very suspicious so I decided to do a little investigation on my own. 

First I went to Hannah, the girl Taylor was supposedly always staying over night with at her house.  I just started the conversation casually asking her how school was going.  Then I asked her about her friendships and whom she was hanging out with.  She didn’t mention Taylor, so I asked her how she and Taylor were doing and she sort of gave me a confused look.  Then I knew something was wrong.  I asked her about how Taylor is staying over her house a lot and she sort of paused stunned and exclaimed “O ya she’s always over my house.”  You could tell she was lying.  Her voice got high and very loud.

Now I was sort of worried.  Hannah is lying.  So I wanted to know where she really was.  So I decided to stalk her and follow Taylor on a night she signed out.  Two days later I had my chance.  I saw she signed out and once I did I went to her room.  I could hear her behind her closed door so I went into the bathroom across from it.  I washed my hands about 5 times until she finally came out.  She smiled at me, but said nothing.  She walked away fast avoiding a conversation.  I watched as she disappeared around a corner and I grabbed my car keys. 

I ran to my car carefully trying not to run into her.  As I sat in the drivers seat, Taylor and Randy drove right past me.  I turned on my car and followed far behind them.  We drove for about 25 minutes until we reached a house in a nice neighborhood.  I parked on the street a few houses down from Randy’s car.

They got out of the car and I soon regretted that I didn’t bring anything to do.  I waited.  I didn’t really know what to expect.  I was waiting maybe for a bunch of cars to come and catch a party maybe with alcohol or drugs.  Or maybe catch them having an “overnight slumber party.”  I didn’t expect though to see Randy emerge from the house 3 hours later in a sweat carrying a large bag.  I didn’t really know what was going on.  I mean of course the big bag and no Taylor was suspicious, but I never really considered a worship leader from school doing anything like that.  I was scared, but I just hoped for the best and put it in my mind that this was Hannah’s house and Randy was just dropping Taylor off.

The next day I saw Hannah.  I asked her what she did the night before.  She said she went home.  I asked if Taylor went with her and she said yes.  I knew she was lying, but I just believed her because that’s what I wanted to be true. 

2 days later and still Taylor was not back.

1 week later and Randy was also reported missing.

2 weeks later Hannah confessed that Taylor never had been to her house.

People Creeping

One of our homework assignments last week was to people watch.  I hated the idea of doing that because when I am on el prado I don't usually look at anyone around me and stare at people or anything like that.  So I thought this assignment would be weird.  So I was on el prado watching some people and found like a girl all over this guy and the guy really didn't seem interested and then there was this poor girl with her head down rushing to class (I am pretty sure thats what I look like on el prado most of the time lol), but I still found it a little weird.

Then after we had talked about the assignment and everything in class I actually was sitting there in mi casa cafe one day and saw a girl on my hall come in and I was watching her like who she sat with and what type of people you know she was associating with.  And then I thought about it and realized that people watching is sort of one of the jobs of being an RA.  Especially with me I care about every single girl on my hall in bethany and I feel like their protective mother sometimes because when they are with someone or dating them when I see them I "creep" on them and make sure that person theyre with are treating them right.  So I actually realized that do enjoy people watching and after learning those 5 things Professor Corrigan taught us from that paper has actually opened my eyes more with people watching.  For example tonight in the lobby I was watching some of my girls talking with boys and some othr girls hanging out with girls from different halls.  I heard what they were saying and how they reacted to other people talking.  It really opened my eyes.

Poem and 5 steps of Character

 A Maiden To Her Mirror
He said he loved me! Then he called my hair
Silk threads wherewith sly Cupid strings his bow,
My cheek a rose leaf fallen on new snow;
And swore my round, full throat would bring despair
To Venus or to Psyche.

Time and care
Will fade these locks; the merry god, I know,
Uses no grizzled cords upon his bow.
How will it be when I, no longer fair,
Plead for his kiss with cheeks, whence long ago
The early snowflakes melted quite away,
The rose leaf died – and in whose sallow clay
Lie the deep sunken tracks of life’s gaunt crow?

When this full throat shall wattle fold on fold,
Like some ripe peach left drying on a wall,
Or like a spent accordion, when all
Its music has exhaled – will love grow cold? 



a)  Physical description-  Clearly she is pale with rosy cheeks.  She has fine hair and her neck I believe is long and beautiful.  So this poem is filled with physical descriptions and allows us to picture this character clearly.



b) The things she says-  By her talking about how she will be when she gets older can tell she is insecure about what will happen when she starts getting old.  Where she says when her skin starts to not be fair and beautiful and when her neck becomes saggy like an accordion.  She is worried he will not love her.  You can tell she is insecure too by her thoughts because it never mentions him saying anything about her personality.  


c)The things they do-  This poem doesn't mention anything she does which could also show why she is scared because he never says anything about her accomplishments or successes.


d)  The way other characters resond to them, including the things others say to or about them:  This is about her boyfriend and everything he says is beautiful about her.


e)  Their thoughts if these are shown-  This I put as what she says, but this too could be about the poem itself. I do not know if this is what she is saying or thinking




Here I used this poem with the five steps of character and how we know them in Professor Corrigans handout.

Joel Painting

So this is my painting of Joel where it says
      "Before them fire devours,
       behind them a flame blazes.
       Before them the land is like the garden of Eden,
       behind them, a desert waste—
       nothing escapes them."


So, I am not very good at painting, so I was very scared about our activity so I asked around.  One of my friends was in the class last year and told me were going to have to paint a verse that stuck out to us in Joel.  When I heard this I actually knew which verse I was going to paint about.  It was the verse that stuck out to me in the first place when I read Joel the first time and when I read it again it made perfect sense to draw it.  Because I was so prepared it actually sort of made me lose the meaning of the assignment in the beginning.  But Professor Corrigan not letting us talk sort of forced me to concentrate on the assignment and think about it.  It really helped picturing and then finally seeing it on paper. It made the verse stand out even more.  Just seeing the green and then all of a sudden fire sort of makes you picture it in real life.  When I read it I actually pictured the gardens at lake mirror because I am sure the Garden of Eden was much bigger, but I imagine it being beautiful like that with all the flowers and water flowing.  I actually find it a very scary verse and when Professor Corrigan says a lot of Joel is poetry it makes me wonder if this too is just a metaphor of what God will do.  It is hard to think of God hurting us and His land, but a lot in the Old testament is just that. 

Joel and Poetry

I am not a very theatrical person. At all. I didn't like drama groups or anything while growing up. So when we had to read Joel out loud outside it was different for me. And it wasn't my favorite thing wither usually when I am reading out loud I can't really pay attention to what I am saying. I pay attention to how I am saying it more and when I do try to hear what I am saying I usually start reading in my head again. I also was weary about Joel too. I don't like poetry. In my school since I didn't like poetry in middle school they made me take like this poetry elective. It was awful because I felt like the other kids were catching onto the meaning a lot more quicker than I was. So when reading I just kept thinking what is this about. Instead of like Professor Corrigan said reading it through just to read not thinking about the meaning the whole time. If you do that you miss the whole other part of the poem. So I promised Professor Corrigan I would meet him half way, that he would understand my past with poetry and I will try doing it his way.
But I must say Joel isn’t my favorite when it comes to the Bible. Mostly because I am confused about what to think about it. And how and why Professor Corrigan was telling us to proclaim it to nature. So overall I did enjoy reading without the verses because I feel that if I read with verses I pause at each number instead of reading through the whole thing.

Also the whole time reading Joel I thought about this song we sang in church all the time:



They rush on the city, they run on the wall
Great is the army that carries out His Word
(Repeat)

The Lord utters His voice before His army
The Lord utters His voice before His army

They rush on the city, they run on the wall
Great is the army that carries out His Word

Blow the trumpet in Zion, Zion
Sound the alarm in my holy mountain
Blow the trumpet in Zion, Zion
Sound the alarm
(Repeat 2 times)

Sound the alarm
Sound the alarm

Hope and Despair

I loved the quote from Professor Corrigan article where it says, "One can never understand what hope is really about unless one wrestles with despair." And I kept thinking about that all week because it's true with a lot of good things. If you don't wrestle with despair you won't know what faith is. Unless you are truly tested by God you will never know how it is to rely and believe in Him. We have to realize when were going through something that we need to rely on faith and grow. Also, with happiness. We would never know what happiness is if we don't go through despair. If we never experienced sadness or frustration we would never really understand our emotions of happiness.

Another part of Professor Corrigans article that I really enjoyed was where it said, "Jesus is more interested in living questions--'follow me'--than in finding answers." Jesus doesn't want us to just sit and keep asking why why why. Just go on and live it out have faith and rely on God. If we sit there saying why why why, we will get no where because instead of living out what God wants us to go through we sit there and contemplate every single thing.


James 1:12

Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.


Even the Bible tells us to go through the trials that we will be put through. In the Bible there are tons of examples of people who went through many things, but because they did remain faithful to God they did receive the crown of life. Just to remain faithful is what we should do.

So when put through a tough don't lose faith just think about the good that will come out of it. And don't sit there just asking why.

House of Cards

In class we got to build a house of cards.  I hate building houses of cards.  Over the summer me and josh did an amazing race game.  And we were already frustrated with each other.  And we walk into this house and they said you have to build a house of cards.  On tiled floor.  In a kitchen with awful music playing.  It was so frustrating!!!!  And it was even worse that Josh was better at making em then me.  Awful.


But ya so when Corrigan was like build a house of cards I was sort of scared that I would get that irritated again.  But it wasn't bad we had another group by us.  So when we started talking about C.S. Lewis' metaphor I was glad I had my earlier experience with Josh.

Josh said a good point about C.S. Lewis' metaphor though how if you pull one card it all falls.  So if one part of your life is taken away it falls.  That's what C.S. Lewis talks about,  how his wife died and how that just took one card out of his house, and his faith began to fall.  And how he was like should I even build it back up if it will just fall again.   But the part I really liked was how he said God has made it fall.  To show Lewis how his faith was not built on a good foundation and how his faith was.  It was when Professor Corrigan came around the room and was like would you be upset if I pulled card out I said I would be very upset.  And that is what Professor Corrigan was playing, the role of God.  God knew that if He pulled that one card out it would fall and C.S. Lewis would fall apart too. 


So for now I will be learning how to build a house of cards.  So then the next time I am forced to build one I can finally do it and not be so frustrated.  

Cemetary

I went to the Lakeview, Roselawn and Tiger Flowers cemetery complex for this fieldtrip, and I stayed there for at least 40 minutes.

Grief Observed

In class on thursday we talked about Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis.  Professor Corrigan spoke about if C.S. Lewis was being blasphemous when he was calling God an imbecile and everything.  But I feel that in every relationship there are downfalls.  Relationships between spouses, friendships, parents, etc.  And it is because we are human. Humans are not perfect at all and God definitely knows we aren't perfect.  And God wants to hear us.  He wants to hear our sorrows, our anger, our happiness, our joy, our stress, our frustrations.  He doesn't just want to hear about our thanks for good things happenings and our asking for things we need.  He wants to hear our pain,  I think it is better for us to express this pain to God then just completely take him out and not talk to Him at all. 

It is not my favorite part, but I like to hear C.S. Lewis sort of get mad at God.  It makes me feel like I'm not the only one in the world.  When my grandfather was in the hospital I was not happy with Him.  It makes me happy to see this Theologian, this man who writes beautiful words about God, yell at Him.  I don't feel like we should only yell at God, but I think this grows the relationship that we have with God.

I also found it really interesting in class on how C.S. Lewis didn't even love this woman when he married her.  He was only marrying her so she could stay in the country.  I watched this movie over the summer called the Enchanted Cottage.  It is very old like 1945 old.  It was about a couple who got married for convenience.  He used to be beautiful, but went off to war and had an accident.  She was the "ugly duck" of the town.  When they got married they weren't in love, but like Lewis they grew to love each other and see each other as beautiful. 

Field Trip!! yay!

So today in class we went to the restaurant and my group discussed many topics.  Are group was filled with very different people, so it was nice to hear their ideas on literature.  Here are some:

1.  There was a discussion between non-fiction and fiction.  Monica I know does'nt enjoy reading too much, so when she does read she wants it to be purposeful, so she reads nonfiction.  Zac and me agreed that we like fiction better because easier to enjoy and get through.  So we were discussing that maybe non fiction had more purpose for us to read it, but Professor Corrigan came over and made a good point that we should try to learn from everything we learn.  Even stupid fiction should teach us something about life.  I never thought to read to learn especially with fiction.

2.  There was discussion on Star Wars books and Harry Potter books

3.  We talked about how I think that girls have more trouble with reading pornography than looking at it.  I feel that the romance novels people read now cause lust and sometimes the words can be graphic, which to me I consider porn.  Twilight may not be so graphic, but still people lust after that perfect person and especially after the movies the characters now have faces and bodies and girls lust after them (aka Jacob Blacks abs).

Those are some of the topics we discussed.  I really enjoyed the "field trip" today especially since some of the people I had never met before, so it was nice to see new faces and discuss their interests in literature. Also, I didn't write about a Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis because I thought people may have not read it yet, but it is really good.  It talks about C.S. Lewis' thoughts after his wife died.  I recommend reading it it's not a hard read

Fables

I loved James Thurber's twist on Little Red Riding Hood.  He showed how ridiculous some fables and fairy tales can be.  He showed how little girls would probably know better and see better.  Once she saw her grandma she would have known it was not her grandma.  It even says in Perrault's version that not until she undressed to get into bed with her grandma did she start to notice differences.  And I don't know about you, but if my grandma was sick she would not invite me to lay by her.  My grandma would probably make me leave quickly to make sure I didn't get sick.  Some other ridiculous stories are:

Snow White:  I love Snow White it is my favorite Disney princess movie, but it talks about a girl who goes runs away and finds a house.  No ones there and she just sleeps in the house until the dwarfs come home.  And then she lives with them.  She lives in a house with seven men she doesn't even know, but I guess that doesn't matter because they had different morals they wanted to convey.  One was don't take anything from a stranger and especially don't eat it. 


The Story of Goldilock's and the Three Bears: I'm going off the orginal story of where Goldilocks gets eaten. Here we have another great example of entering a home without permission.  Not only does she go in without permission she eats the food, breaks furniture, and trys out all the beds.  Then the bears eat her when they find her sleeping.  This story moral does say you should respect privacy this time, but like Little Red Riding Hood a girl should have had better sense if raised properly.  The newer version of Goldilocks and the Three Bears doesn't really have a moral since Goldilocks runs away.


I haven't read fables or really thought about them in a long long time, but after reading Thurber's The Girl and the Wolf I went back and read some of my favorite ones from when I was little.  I encourage you to do so because you will be surprised at how some are just a little ridiculous.

Tension and love

Frankie and Johnny is the love story of how girl loves boy, but then boy goes and breaks her heart. And even when she kills him she runs and weeps and holds him.  That is one type of love story.  In the story What We Talk about When We Talk about Love has many types of love stories discussed and shown between a group of friends.

First we have Terri and her crazy ex who shot himself.  She swears that it was love. So she is the example of the beaten woman who will not admit that there was no love in the relationship.  She is one of those women who feels like she needed to stay because there was love and even when she did break it off she wouldn't admit it. The crazy ex is the example of a man who wants control and in order to have it he convinces a woman he loves them and then treats them poorly.  He becomes so possesive of her that he is willing to try and kill himself to get her back.

Next we have Terri and Mel.  They are the example of the couple where the man knows everything and she makes little cracks, but allows him to have his way most of the time.  Mel is the drunk guy who knows everything and then gets sentimental and mushy with the one he loves.  You can tell he loves Terri, but he always makes stupid remarks.

Nick and Laura are the perfect couple.  They both come from broken relationships and found each other and now they are very in love with each other.  Even the words that Nick describes Laura with you can tell how he loves her a lot.

Then there is the old couple.  They have a horrible accident and even when completely covered head to toe in bandages, the husband wants to see his wife so desperately that he is depressed.  All he cares about is her and in order to know she is ok he must see her.

There is also Mel and his daughter.  They show the love between a father who wants better for his daughter and he describes even an idea to kill her, but you know its just that he wants her to have a better life.  Not divorced, broke, and living with a boyfriend with his grandchildren.

I find that when reading literature you find all these different types of love stories between different people and the tension created between them is what catches the attention of whoever is reading it 

One of my earliest memories of literature was when my mom would read me Henry Huggins books.  She always put me in the reading clubs over the summers with the library and Henry Huggins was my favorite.   My grandma also would always read this one book about a spotted puppy dog to me also. Every time I went over there we would get that book out and read it.  Another memory is when I was young I hated dolls and the only thing I used to really love to do was read hooked on phonics books.

My most recent memories are probably with leadership books.  I take an RA class for credit and we have to read books and pick out what we can use in real life.  Also in my business courses we also read books like that especially in business communications class.  I like to read leadership books, but I also love fiction.

The most significant literary text I've read is of course the Bible, but also Pride and Prejudice and Jane Eyre.  I took an Ap literature course in high school and those were the only two books out of the seven we read that I really liked.  I never really liked Shakespeare because of the language used, and Pride and Prejudice and Jane Eyre were the only two books that I actually wanted to read and understand what it was saying.  So while reading them I actually learned more how to study the words and see what they mean.

One way I think literature matters is that through authors who lived in different times, we can see how life was back then through their eyes.  We can learn practices that they did or what different clothing styles were worn and things such as that.  Some ways I feel literature doesn't matter is when people put themselves into the spot of a character and afterward they wish their life was like that.  Such as every girl wants a Mr. Darcy, and because girls only imagine that perfect story and ending they put their expectations really high and struggle to realize that sometimes that's not what their story is supposed to be.