wonder in nature

Nature.  I don't really like to be in it, but I do love the beauty of nature.  I liked how Professor Corrigan talked about how we have lost the wonder in nature.  I believe we have lost our wonder in a lot of other things too.  Our campus is beautiful and I sometimes think people take that for granted.  I feel like every time I walk around campus I am thinking about how much I will miss how beautiful it is here.  And I catch myself sometimes rushing and just walking and never looking around me.  I feel like people are always in a rush and just use technology all the time and forget to recognize the beauty of other things.  Like on the computer screen Professor Corrigan had that picture of all that green and a waterfall.  Its still on a computer screen and we can be in awe of it, but we can still never fully experience the wonder unless were out there and being in the nature.  In the poem State of the Plant, I feel as if the Richard Hass does want us to recognize the wonder in the world.  By describing all the things that are changing and things going wrong he wants us to appreciate nature and grow a new wonder for it.  By doing so maybe we will learn to be in awe of it again and see God through it. 

Also I knew one of my good friends in highschool and her family were exactly those kind of people Professor Corrigan described.  They said that the coming of the Lord would get rid of the earth anyways so why recycle and clean up the earth.  I asked her once about future generations like her children and she said that God would have favor on them.  I just thought it was so stupid because even if you think that God will have favor on your family aren't we supposed to love others and care for them.

STATE OF THE PLANET

So I really don't enjoy poetry especially 4 pages about global warming.  I did enjoy the somewhat snide remarks towards ignorant people who are ruining the earth.  But anyways here are examples of how I figured out it was on global warming:

1. In section 2 on page 50 it mentions the Pacific Salmon nosing against dams and then it says clever humans are now growing corn. This means that we are using that water and blocking it off to use for other purposes.  Waters absorbs carbon dioxide and by not  allowing it to stay and making it used we are getting rid of more that can be absorbing the carbon dioxide instead of causing more greenhouse effects.

2.  In section 1 on page 49 it mentions that the troposphere has retained emissions from cars like his.  This is greenhouse effect and the burning of fossil fuels (cars) adds to the raising the average global temperature.

3. In section 4 on page 51 it says "there's no life at all."  He was talking about the volcanic rock by the sea and in the desert.  Things that have no life cannot absorb carbon dioxide.  Also volcanoes when erupted add carbon dioxide into the air.

4. In section 5 on page 52 it talks about the Devonian coral.  During the Devonian era there were the most fish species and coral now because of global warming they are extinct and you can only find fossils now.

5. In section 9 on page 55 it talks about long-billed arctic curlews being burned in marsh fires.  People sometime burned marshes in order to get rid of disease.  By getting rid of marshes where these birds find their food and live it is getting rid of living things.  Living things also absorb or get rid of some of the carbon dioxide.

Poetry and Lectio

I truly do believe that you can learn from literature.  You can learn how to maybe see feelings and how to react to them from literature or maybe learn a new lesson about life.  It is hard for me to think about literature actually transforming your life.  Maybe if you read it in the way that you do want to transform, so you look for they ways you can learn and transform from it.  I think this too though is partly my fault.  I don't read this way, so maybe that os why I can't understand it.  I know we are supposed to learn how to live literature and learn that it is you, but I don't know if I can necessarily do that.  Especially with poetry.  Poetry is hard enough for me to get through when I actually find out the meaning of a poem I am so happy I found it and I am so sick of reading it I don't even think about applying it somehow to my life.

I still don't know what I thought about Lectio with Sonny Blues on Tuesday.  I really think of it as a religious practice with the Bible.  I don't think it is bad for people to do especially if you want to go very deep into your reading, but for me I feel that I will stick to just doing it with my Bible.  I really did see the difference on how I understood Sonny Blues afterward. After reading it so many times I was able to understand it more and being able to hear everyone's thoughts on it.  I will try it again in my life if I have the opportunity too because maybe I just put negative thoughts in my head and thats why I didn't fully embrace the activity. 

Sonny Blues

Sonny's Blues.  I understood it until the end.  I sort of could catch on to the ending, but not really.  I understand Baldwin was trying to make music with his words, but it was hard for me to catch on what those words meant.  All of a sudden he went from Sonny not being fully into yet and still facing the past to it brought the main characters memories back.  

"I heard what he had gone through and would continue to go through until he came to rest in earth."

Through Sonnys music he was able to hear about what he went through.  I found it interesting because when they were talking you couldn't really tell what he had gone though.  But in his music, Sonny was able to express it to his brother. 

"He had made it his: that long line, of which we knew only Mama and Daddy."

The wording of this statement sort of confused me.  He had talked about the music explaining what Sonny had gone through, but now it is of the times which their parents were living.  It reminded him of the story of his father and his fathers brother dying.  It brought up sadness and the past and brought him past it.  It goes onto to say that he remembered his daughter dying and his wifes tears and how he was beginning to tear.  It makes me believe the music brought up these feelings because when he wrote Sonny saying his little girl died I had to read that sentence over again.  In the story it says it so nonchalantly like no big deal his daughter died and go straight back to Sonny.  Maybe it was purposeful, so that the readers would think no big deal and skip over it like the character actually does in his life.  Then during the music it brings the past up and all of these things he made no big deal a big deal and now he can reflect on it.  The world stops and "waited outside", so that is what the music is doing stopping the chaos and allowing everything to settle. 

pass

Fin

Here it was.  The first day.  The freshmen and their parents stood outside waiting anxiously to check in to the dorm.  The entire Resident Assistant team went to their tables excited to meet the girls that they would be living with on their hall.  When I got to my table my community leaders were ready and we had everything organized.  The doors open.  The girls all scramble in and quickly go to their designated table. 

There she was.  She had dark curly brown hair and bright blue eyes.  She walked gracefully towards the table in her new Northwestern College t-shirt and her khaki bermuda shorts.  I asked her for her name and she said Taylor Adkins and you could hear her thick Alabama accent come out.  I pulled her file out and started walking her to her room where she would spend her very first year in college.  As we walked down the hall I asked her all the usual questions, “Are you excited for your first year”, or “Where are you from?”  She answered excitedly and then I noticed her shoes.  They were white converse with names written on them in colored markers and they had holes all over them.  I asked her about them and she explained how she had all her friends at church camp sign them 4 years ago and now she still wears them to remember to pray for her friends.

She had won me over.  From that very first day we became very good friends.  Every Saturday morning we would go eat breakfast and do devotions.  She was always very interested in my position as an RA and always asked questions about the rules and what I did.  I told her about all the rules at the school and explained that we held high standards like no drinking and smoking. She would often play Devil’s Advocate and try to say why some rules were stupid, but in the end we would both come to the agreement that they were still to be upheld. 

One Saturday morning we were eating breakfast and she told me she had very exciting news.  She told me that she had met a boy and not just any boy, the worship leader of one of the popular worship teams on our campus.  His name was Randy and he was from Detroit, Michigan.  I was excited for her and happy to hear it was a boy that I had only heard good things of.  I was at first excited for her, but after everyday of hearing about all the awesome stuff her and Randy did together, I was getting a little annoyed. I was very confused about how if she wanted me to know so much about him why had not we met yet.  That’s the part that worried me the most.   Then one day Taylor comes running into my room screaming and happily told me that after several weeks of just “hanging out” Randy had finally asked her out.  So that whole night I had to hear about what she was going to wear to their wedding and what flowers she wanted and what type of ring she wanted Randy to get her.

Finally after weeks of bragging about her and Randy I told Taylor that maybe if she wanted to show him off some more that she could actually introduce us.

So later on that day when Randy came to pick Taylor up for a date she introduced me to him.  He was very nice and polite, but very short with his answers to questions.  I didn’t take it personally though and told them to have fun.

It was the next Saturday morning and I was sitting alone eating breakfast and two hours later I received a text.  It was Taylor telling me that she was sorry and that Randy picked her up at 5 am and they went and watched the sunrise.  I would have been more upset, but she was so happy.  The following week all she talked about was how amazing Randy was and how talented Randy was and how handsome Randy was.  I just smiled and tried not to let it bug me.  It was her very first boyfriend after all.

Three weeks later and I have seen Taylor a total of three times.  She has been MIA.  She signs out a lot saying she went to a girl on the halls house.  When I text her she will answer she’s with Randy or doing homework or sleeping.  So I became very suspicious so I decided to do a little investigation on my own. 

First I went to Hannah, the girl Taylor was supposedly always staying over night with at her house.  I just started the conversation casually asking her how school was going.  Then I asked her about her friendships and whom she was hanging out with.  She didn’t mention Taylor, so I asked her how she and Taylor were doing and she sort of gave me a confused look.  Then I knew something was wrong.  I asked her about how Taylor is staying over her house a lot and she sort of paused stunned and exclaimed “O ya she’s always over my house.”  You could tell she was lying.  Her voice got high and very loud.

Now I was sort of worried.  Hannah is lying.  So I wanted to know where she really was.  So I decided to stalk her and follow Taylor on a night she signed out.  Two days later I had my chance.  I saw she signed out and once I did I went to her room.  I could hear her behind her closed door so I went into the bathroom across from it.  I washed my hands about 5 times until she finally came out.  She smiled at me, but said nothing.  She walked away fast avoiding a conversation.  I watched as she disappeared around a corner and I grabbed my car keys. 

I ran to my car carefully trying not to run into her.  As I sat in the drivers seat, Taylor and Randy drove right past me.  I turned on my car and followed far behind them.  We drove for about 25 minutes until we reached a house in a nice neighborhood.  I parked on the street a few houses down from Randy’s car.

They got out of the car and I soon regretted that I didn’t bring anything to do.  I waited.  I didn’t really know what to expect.  I was waiting maybe for a bunch of cars to come and catch a party maybe with alcohol or drugs.  Or maybe catch them having an “overnight slumber party.”  I didn’t expect though to see Randy emerge from the house 3 hours later in a sweat carrying a large bag.  I didn’t really know what was going on.  I mean of course the big bag and no Taylor was suspicious, but I never really considered a worship leader from school doing anything like that.  I was scared, but I just hoped for the best and put it in my mind that this was Hannah’s house and Randy was just dropping Taylor off.

The next day I saw Hannah.  I asked her what she did the night before.  She said she went home.  I asked if Taylor went with her and she said yes.  I knew she was lying, but I just believed her because that’s what I wanted to be true. 

2 days later and still Taylor was not back.

1 week later and Randy was also reported missing.

2 weeks later Hannah confessed that Taylor never had been to her house.

People Creeping

One of our homework assignments last week was to people watch.  I hated the idea of doing that because when I am on el prado I don't usually look at anyone around me and stare at people or anything like that.  So I thought this assignment would be weird.  So I was on el prado watching some people and found like a girl all over this guy and the guy really didn't seem interested and then there was this poor girl with her head down rushing to class (I am pretty sure thats what I look like on el prado most of the time lol), but I still found it a little weird.

Then after we had talked about the assignment and everything in class I actually was sitting there in mi casa cafe one day and saw a girl on my hall come in and I was watching her like who she sat with and what type of people you know she was associating with.  And then I thought about it and realized that people watching is sort of one of the jobs of being an RA.  Especially with me I care about every single girl on my hall in bethany and I feel like their protective mother sometimes because when they are with someone or dating them when I see them I "creep" on them and make sure that person theyre with are treating them right.  So I actually realized that do enjoy people watching and after learning those 5 things Professor Corrigan taught us from that paper has actually opened my eyes more with people watching.  For example tonight in the lobby I was watching some of my girls talking with boys and some othr girls hanging out with girls from different halls.  I heard what they were saying and how they reacted to other people talking.  It really opened my eyes.